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Lack of Updates…

10 Sep

There’s been a decent slowdown in the updates on here recently and hopefully that’ll improve soon. Things have just been hectic out here, even more than usual.

In the mean time here’s Oreo.

Oreo keeping warm

She gets cold throughout the night and decides the only way she wants to stay warm is by laying in the blinds to my patio. This wouldn’t be so bad if that didn’t let in a shitload of light that usually wakes up me along with whoever else is staying here. I can’t bitch too much though, it’s here place and not mine after all. Bitch

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Muffin-tops: Cover your shame.

3 Sep

Summer may be ending but what was once usually just a summertime problem has turned into a year-round epidemic. I am of course talking about the infamous muffin-top. For those of you fortunate enough to be out of the loop on muffin-tops, I’ll enlighten you. As unreliable as Wikipedia can be, I’ll use there definition here as it is the best fitting for describing this grotesque outbreak. Wikipedia defines as muffin-top as “…the phenomenon of overhanging flesh (fat) when it spills over the waistline of pants or skirts in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing.”

If you’re somehow lost from this definition, the picture below should clarify things a bit:

Muffin-tops can easily occur when lard squeezes over the top of undersized jeans.

Now you see how vulgar muffin-tops are now let’s get to the causes so you can truly understand the problem. Muffin-tops are typically the result of lazy, overweight people that for some think that they’re attractive just because the level 32 Paladin that works behind the counter at Blockbuster frequently offers to “share manna” or whatever the fuck those people do.

Muffin-tops: When excess isn't enough.

Now here’s an open letter to all of those with muffin-tops from us good folks here at RawDogBlog:

Dear purveyors of muffin-tops:

Stop. You are fucking disgusting as well as what’s wrong with America. I get it, you’re too lazy to exercise or really move around at all. If that’s how you choose to be, cover your flabby bodies with moo-moos, or fashion you’re own by cutting arm holes in your drapes. We are sick of seeing you fat deposits spilling over your clothes. Get clothes that fit, stop telling yourself you fit into those size “0” jeans. If you have to hold in your gut just to button them, you’re clothes do not fit!

If you want to wear tighter fitting clothing, go outside and get some damned exercise. And no, cutting down your Ho-Ho intake from 35 to 29 a day isn’t going to do the trick. A good diet is important but you still have to get out of your couch imprint and go do something physical. Physical things include: walking, running, going to the gym, etc. Basically anything that includes going outside and sweating. For the record, although breathing makes you sweat, it is not actually an exercise as it is usually an effortless bodily function in humans.

In closing, cover your shame. Nobody wants to be forced to see your body’s evidence that it has been dormant for the last 10 years while you’re favorite syndicated shows have been in nonstop marathons. If you want to show your body, make it one that the world wouldn’t mind seeing. It may be hard but it isn’t as hard as it is for us to swallow our food while being forced to see the physical evidence that you’ve just given up on life.

Sincerely,

-America

Ps. Now, here’s a picture of a girl who’s stomach can be shown without causing others to vomit:

A healthy stomach.

Ignore the fact that she isn’t too hot, we aren’t judging all of her. I can tell you something though, she didn’t get that stomach from watching old Nick-at-Nite reruns with her best friends, Ben and Jerry.

Now go out and harass fat chicks until they exercise because if we let this continue, then the terrorists have won. We here at RawDog have a strict policy, we don’t negotiate with terrorists or fat chicks. You either love America and stay skinny or you’re only looking good through the scope of a Remington 700.

Just because we here at RawDog are shameless, it doesn’t mean that you fat fucks can be too. We here at RawDog go outside frequently instead of sit behind a computer all day (which may explain the infrequent and half-assed updates) and we encourage all of you to do the same.

Our beef with fat people is simple. Obesity is not an incurable disease, cancer is. We aren’t here to make fun of cancer patients for having incurable, real diseases. We are here to put you fat people in your place for being so lazy to get fat and then accepting your obesity instead of doing something about it. America didn’t get so great due to complacency, we got were we are through never being satisfied and striving for more. Now fat people what are you striving for more of? Hostess or a better life? Do you want to be like Micheal Moore or would you rather be someone that isn’t a burden on society?

Do you really want to be like this?

You choose. If you choose the lazy way out of this, you will be mocked. Shit’s raw.

/b/ Finds of the Day

30 Aug

For those of you who don’t know what /b/ is, it is the random section of the image board 4chan. 4chan is the best website ever, and by that I mean it is the worst, most grotesque, offensive, shithole on the web. So of course, we love it!

Today we’ve got some images that were found randomly while browsing /b/.

Stevie Wonder's Twitter

It's just so much easier, isn't it?

Mr. Wongburger?

Finally a truly universal sign for Ice Cubes.

Night Sessions…

18 Aug

It’s easy to forget how fun late night riding sessions are. You get caught up in a normal life were you’re constantly busy or tired and the late night sessions become a thing of the past. You miss out on too much when you’re sitting at home late at night, it’s easy to pretend the night creatures don’t exist. I’ve been pulling sessions that go well beyond the early morning lately and I’ve been able to see some great shit. It’s hard to explain until you’re pedaling around a spot at 4am and see portly Twightlight fans running around empty parking lots.

Next time the sun goes down just go see what critters are lurking your local spots, or come up here and witness the infamous Beer Monster.

Orange Bike after Sundown

The Champ: Oreo

17 Aug

Oreo is my cat, she lives with me in my apartment. Actually, she pretty much lets me live in her apartment. That fucking bitch. She’s a sweetheart to people, but if you bring any animal over she’ll fuck him/her up. Oreo’s got a bigger kill list than a rice rocket in the valley. Back to Oreo, she’s the reigning champ and has been for all 15 years that she’s been with us.

The champion resting.

We love you Oreo!

This will probably offend you…

17 Aug

Coming in Hot: Ramblings on religion.

Is it not selfish and a bit ridiculous how we humans assume that we know the answers to questions that mankind’s incapable of obtaining?

The Meaning of Life?

What’s our purpose? How did we get here? What happens to us when we die? We (and by “we” I mean mankind) need to humble ourselves and admit that we don’t know the true answers. It must also be accepted that religion is something worthy of questioning. Take a look at yourself, you wouldn’t blindly follow anything else with as little factual evidence as religion.
Without hesitation, Christians believe that God sent himself as his son on a suicide mission to rid mankind of sin. Good thing that worked out and us humans are pure again. The irony here is obvious to a cynical dick like myself, the organization that was founded on the premise of getting rid of sin is the most corrupt and perverted creation in mankind’s history. Religion has fueled just a good part of the world’s wars. Every nation goes to war under the belief that their god is on their side. If the corruption of religion isn’t apparent enough for you, maybe you should look at the holiest places in the world.

The biggest shithole in the world is also the holiest.

The Holy Land - The Middle East

All of the holy sites of the main religions are located in the Middle East. You know that place you wouldn’t visit in your worst nightmares. Is that purely a coincidence that this area fucking blows? Or is it a direct result of a religious power struggle that has been going on for millennia? Muslims make up a story and say that the one of the holiest places in the Jewish faith is also important to them so they take over the land and turn the holy temple into a mosque. Is either side right? Probably not but either way… bitch move.

See below for the Pop Culture equivalent of this.

Pop-culture equivalent of Muslims v. Jews

Getting back on topic here, let’s jump to the main problem with religion.

Religion prevents thought.

Religion permits humans to act with a mob mentality and completely overrides our ability to be rational, to think, to care.. Humans didn’t accomplish miracles (See electricity, organized government, Taco Bell, etc.) through prayer. Humans are capable or though, logic, and understanding. However most people seem to be incapable of simple humility. If someone asked me “Why are we here?” They’d get a smartass answer like “To keep Taco Bell afloat” or, if I were serious, “I don’t know.” If you ask someone who bases his/her life on religion you’d get a confident answer with something close “To serve God.”

Is that our purpose? How the fuck am I supposed to know? But these people of faith… they know the answer. Why do they know this? Because they believe an outdated book that when taken literally is found to be riddled with parts that just don’t add up (The age of the Earth, historical facts, etc.)

In the event that you want another old book that cannot be taken literally:

More fiction

Here’s another issue: The belief that religion does a lot of good.

It would be nice if people could read the few parts of religious texts that are about being a decent person (not just unwilling faith to someone you’ve never directly communicated with.) Unfortunately religion carries a lot more harm than good. Religion is an institution based on hypocrisy. Most religions preach against killing, yet religion is the basis behind most of the killing in the world. Shit, Islam talks frequently about “killing the infidels”. Yeah there’s tolerance, killing all of those who don’t believe in the same god as you.

Look at these religious “Activists”

How can people dedicate their lives to such bold statements without ever closely examining everything?

I’m not saying all religion is wrong, I’m saying there’s a good chance that it is. What’re the odds of humans (keep in mind that humans wrote all religious doctrine) writing something over 2000 years ago that holds true to this date?

In the end all that I’m saying is don’t bet your lives on things that don’t add up in your own mind.

Deceptive huh?

Think for yourself.